Almost two years ago, Austrian millionaire Karl Rabeder made the news for giving away all of his wealth. When asked why he did this he replied, “For a long time I believed that more wealth and luxury automatically meant more happiness” But over time, he began to feel differently. “More and more I heard the words: ‘Stop what you are doing now—all this luxury and consumerism—and start your real life.’”

However, he also said he did not judge those who chose to keep their wealth. “I do not have the right to give any other person advice. I was just listening to the voice of my heart and soul.”

The subject of passing judgment has been on my mind a lot lately. From the press coverage of the Iowa Republican primary, to the partisan gridlock in our Congress and Senate, and even within the Occupy movement, it seems like finger-pointing, laying blame on others, and passing judgment is the name of the game in our national discourse about the challenges we face.

But judgment lurks not just in matters of national law and policy. While I think social media is great in the ways we can use it to create meaningful community, to connect with friends and family far away, and to spread new ideas, its shadow side seems to be the tendency among some folks to appoint themselves experts on everything from politics to proper child-rearing.

My pregnancy has made me more attuned perhaps than at any other time in my life to how other people think I should live my life. I had no idea the wrath of judgment a simple morning trip to Starbucks could draw until my belly began to show. More than once people I don’t even know have shared in threatening tones their disapproval of my once-daily caffeine indulgence. It’s a cup of coffee for Pete’s sake! (For the record, my midwife assured me that the caffeine in one serving of coffee per day is virtually harmless to my beloved coming child.)

And it doesn’t stop at coffee. From the advice columns and blogs I’ve read about parenting infants, you’d think anyone who bottle-feeds, doesn’t co-sleep with their baby, and uses disposable diapers is the anti-Christ. And if you read other blogs, you might think folks who do the exact opposite of those things are!

I point this out not as a blameless outsider. I, like most of us I would imagine, have also fallen into the trap of self-righteousness from time to time. A big issue for me used to be politics. In college I was Birkenstock-wearing, Grateful Dead listening, dyed-in-the-wool tree-hugger (I use all of these labels lovingly :) ), and I had virtually no tolerance for anyone who didn’t see things as I did. My intolerance didn’t come out of a place of anger or hatred; it came out of youthful arrogance that told me I simply knew the truth about the environment and others simply didn’t. It was kind of ironic if you think about it; I, a liberal, unknowingly promoting a rather fundamentalist view about my take on politics. As my mother jokingly says, if only I knew now everything I knew when I was 19, I’d be the smartest person in the world…

Anyway, whether it’s pregnancy habits or parenting, politics or the arguable virtues of a free-range, organic, and/or vegetarian diet, it can be very easy to feel justified in forming unbending opinions about any number of things. With all of the information at our fingertips in this internet and information age, it seems like the old sin of arrogance may have transformed into more of a self-righteous feeling of being “better-informed” than other people. And if we’re better-informed, then we’re right and everyone who doesn’t “see the light” is wrong.

By judging others in this way, we erect a barrier between ourselves and “them,” and we actually begin to separate ourselves from them. In passing judgment we can relegate a part of our hearts inaccessible to those whose ideas and opinions don’t match exactly with ours, we rope off a portion of our respect as off-limits for the “other.” In doing this, we make it impossible to bring our whole selves into relationship with those with whom we disagree, those who also happen to be the very neighbors we as people of faith are called to love as we love ourselves. Heaven knows I’ve got work to do on this!

As we enter January, we are inching into the half of the year when the days grow longer and the nights shorter. In this season of increasing light, perhaps we ought to ponder the corners of our hearts that we’ve roped off, the parts of ourselves we’ve made inaccessible by judging others. As we work to live up to the resolutions we made just a few days ago, may we be blessed with courage and grace like Karl Rabeder’s; courage to make the hard changes we know we need to make in our lives and the grace to do so reserving judgment. And as the light grows day by day, may we likewise grow in humility, opening once again the dark and empty corners of our hearts and minds, ready for new relationships, and for the transformation of the many “others” in our lives into friends.

Amen.